Love it!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
MISS MEAN
Zak has had a relief teacher for nearly a week, his regular teacher has been away sick. According to Zak this teacher is mean and makes them do way too much work.
Well, Zak told us a very similar and convincing story about last years prep teacher too. Apparently she made him do pages and pages and pages (Zak's words) of writing every Monday, about what they had done over the weekend. So, after approaching Mrs Prep with Zak's concerns and viewing Zak's Monday writing book, only to find half a page of writing for each task (on big fat lines , I might add), one can understand why I took Zak's recent comment with a grain of salt.
Until I met her..........
This woman is from the 'Old School'. She is about 60, no nonsense, no smiling and a no time for distractions type of person. A minute in her presence and you feel like a naughty 7 year old child again.
Zak and I arrive to school late this morning, after my water feature decided to water the carpet in my lounge room (not happy!).
As we approach Zak's classroom , I see all the kids sitting cross legged on the floor with Miss Mean standing in front of the blackboard. One look at her and I'm scared! My mind is racing to try and come up with a quick and efficient way to explain myself without annoying her ( she honestly has that effect on me) I was thinking of getting Zak to knock on the door while I ran, but I managed to get brave ;-). Squinty eyed and oh so slowly, I knock on the door and gently open it. She just glares at me , I quickly correct my posture, (because I was slouching )and begin my rehearsed speech for being late, which came out like this " Umm, ummm hi, I'm sorry for being late but my carpet watered my lounge room and I had to clean it first, I mean.....". She says , completely ignoring my dribble " Zak, put your bag where it belongs and come and sit down." So I make my way into the bag room with Zak and help him with his jacket (not something I usually do , but I felt guilty for leaving him with one of Hitlers descendants). Miss Mean then says " Zak is quite capable of doing it himself!" Wanting to call her names by this stage,but with a class full of children present and being too chicken to follow through anyway, I kiss Zak instead take Sage by the hand and make my way out the door. Like any other seven year old I wait until she is out of sight and then mimic her out loud (but not too loud), I've been known to be slightly nutty first thing in the morning :-), I then mumble all the things that I wasn't brave enough to say to her face!! It was at that moment that I felt a tap on my back , I turn around and my nightmare materialises in the form of ....... yep, Miss Mean - standing there dangling my keys ..."Did you forget these?"
Well, Zak told us a very similar and convincing story about last years prep teacher too. Apparently she made him do pages and pages and pages (Zak's words) of writing every Monday, about what they had done over the weekend. So, after approaching Mrs Prep with Zak's concerns and viewing Zak's Monday writing book, only to find half a page of writing for each task (on big fat lines , I might add), one can understand why I took Zak's recent comment with a grain of salt.
Until I met her..........
This woman is from the 'Old School'. She is about 60, no nonsense, no smiling and a no time for distractions type of person. A minute in her presence and you feel like a naughty 7 year old child again.
Zak and I arrive to school late this morning, after my water feature decided to water the carpet in my lounge room (not happy!).
As we approach Zak's classroom , I see all the kids sitting cross legged on the floor with Miss Mean standing in front of the blackboard. One look at her and I'm scared! My mind is racing to try and come up with a quick and efficient way to explain myself without annoying her ( she honestly has that effect on me) I was thinking of getting Zak to knock on the door while I ran, but I managed to get brave ;-). Squinty eyed and oh so slowly, I knock on the door and gently open it. She just glares at me , I quickly correct my posture, (because I was slouching )and begin my rehearsed speech for being late, which came out like this " Umm, ummm hi, I'm sorry for being late but my carpet watered my lounge room and I had to clean it first, I mean.....". She says , completely ignoring my dribble " Zak, put your bag where it belongs and come and sit down." So I make my way into the bag room with Zak and help him with his jacket (not something I usually do , but I felt guilty for leaving him with one of Hitlers descendants). Miss Mean then says " Zak is quite capable of doing it himself!" Wanting to call her names by this stage,but with a class full of children present and being too chicken to follow through anyway, I kiss Zak instead take Sage by the hand and make my way out the door. Like any other seven year old I wait until she is out of sight and then mimic her out loud (but not too loud), I've been known to be slightly nutty first thing in the morning :-), I then mumble all the things that I wasn't brave enough to say to her face!! It was at that moment that I felt a tap on my back , I turn around and my nightmare materialises in the form of ....... yep, Miss Mean - standing there dangling my keys ..."Did you forget these?"
Monday, June 11, 2007
Sage's Admirer
Well last week at snack time, after her music lesson,
Sage had an admirer approach her. He gives her a big grin
and plonks himself down right next to her. Totally unimpressed
by him, she turns her head and continues to eat her cracker whilst
pretending he doesn't exist.
But like any good little man he knows he has to work hard to win her over,
so he goes in for the lean......
Sage shrugs him off several times....
until..... (I never thought I would say this)
Yep-
she gives in!!!
He wins her over and they finish their snacks in harmony.
Awwwwww young love!
Pity next weeks music lesson is at the nunnery
Sage had an admirer approach her. He gives her a big grin
and plonks himself down right next to her. Totally unimpressed
by him, she turns her head and continues to eat her cracker whilst
pretending he doesn't exist.
But like any good little man he knows he has to work hard to win her over,
so he goes in for the lean......
Sage shrugs him off several times....
until..... (I never thought I would say this)
Yep-
she gives in!!!
He wins her over and they finish their snacks in harmony.
Awwwwww young love!
Pity next weeks music lesson is at the nunnery
Saturday, June 9, 2007
A week at the gym.
I have had this sent to me a couple of times now, but it just cracks me up. Wanted to share it with those who may not have seen it before.....
ONE MAN'S STORY...
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary:
For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 am .
Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile.
Woo Hoo!!!!!
She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, Although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.
This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered the other club members.
Her voice is a little too p erky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to workout with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of t he world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleading bitch. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the f&%#(#* barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the W eather Channel.
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife (the other bitch), will choose a gift for me that is fun --like a root canal or a vasectomy.
ONE MAN'S STORY...
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary:
For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 am .
Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile.
Woo Hoo!!!!!
She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, Although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.
This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered the other club members.
Her voice is a little too p erky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to workout with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
FRIDAY:
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of t he world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleading bitch. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the f&%#(#* barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the W eather Channel.
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife (the other bitch), will choose a gift for me that is fun --like a root canal or a vasectomy.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Living Doll
Sage was sent to her room for 5 mins for being cheeky today (surprise) , when I walked passed her room I found her sitting on her shelves. I quickly grabbed my camera, have a look at the look on her face in the first photo when she saw me standing there. When I asked her what she was doing she said " I'm sitting in time out like a doll."
The second photo was when she knew she wasn't in trouble.
We took some more photos after that , I actually liked her selected props.
PS The jeans under the dress was Sage's touch
(click photo to enlarge)
The second photo was when she knew she wasn't in trouble.
We took some more photos after that , I actually liked her selected props.
PS The jeans under the dress was Sage's touch
(click photo to enlarge)
Sunday, June 3, 2007
BUMMER!!!
Well as you probably know from one of my previous post's
(click here if not) 'Mother in denial', if there was one test that I
wanted him to fail this would have been it!!
But the selfish little sod went and passed!
That's fine, he's got 14 years to get to know the Kmart car park ;-)
( I really am very proud of him)
(click here if not) 'Mother in denial', if there was one test that I
wanted him to fail this would have been it!!
But the selfish little sod went and passed!
That's fine, he's got 14 years to get to know the Kmart car park ;-)
( I really am very proud of him)
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